resignation
by sky-metaphors
Summary: Despite the fact that Hijikata Toushirou had known him ever since they were little, and had even gone through countless (mis)adventures with him, there were still some things about Sougo that eluded his understanding.


**resignation**

 _Disclaimer: I own nothing and I'm not really sure how law enforcement in the Shinsengumi works lol._

* * *

Despite the fact that Hijikata Toushirou had known him ever since they were little, and had even gone through countless (mis)adventures with him, there were still some things about Sougo that eluded his understanding.

For instance: After years and years of him trying to kill, maim, humiliate, arrest, and deport Kagura; years and years of her trying to count the number of bones in the human body by counting the cracks his body made as she broke him, Okita Sougo had come to the apparently irrefutable conclusion that he had to marry her.

* * *

He wasn't sure why he was so surprised. Perhaps he had expected the weird sexual tension between them to fizzle out once they had grown a little and/or fucked the tension into nonexistence. Hell, he'd even had difficulty seeing either of the two brats pulling their heads out of their own asses long enough to acknowledge said sexual tension and do something about it.

But apparently they _had_ done something about it—a piece of information Hijikata would've been happier not knowing. A piece of information he would never have known if they hadn't done the deed in his—his— _his office._

 _What the fuck are you two doing in my fucking office?!_

 _That's exactly what we call it now, Hijikata-san._

Still, this was a line of reasoning he understood. Sougo had simply wanted to traumatize him and had hoped Hijikata would take the initiative to carve his own brains out in order to forget the sight.

Fortunately, with the help of Sougo's punishment and the priceless expression on the Yorozuya bastard's face when he found out, and through the force of his will, countless fantasies of himself committing seppuku, and—the most helpful of them all—mayonnaise and nicotine therapy, Hijikata was able to move on with his life.

Now that he thought about it, even after that incident, he hadn't really taken the idea of Sougo and Kagura being _together_ seriously. He had pegged Sougo as the type to use women purely for their bodies. The brat was a jackass and a sadist, after all. As for Kagura, she was younger and more naïve, but he was pretty sure Gintoki warned her every five minutes that men were scum and good-for-nothing and only wanted her for her body, etc. And as far as he knew, she considered Gintoki as the paragon of adult wisdom.

So Hijikata had relaxed, knowing that the brats were bound to crash and burn soon. All he had done was prepare himself for the ensuing damages.

Something _had_ crashed and burned. But it wasn't them.

One lovely, peaceful evening, Prince Hata's (of course. of fucking course.) car arced across a sky full of stars, crashed into a convenience store, exploded, and set the surrounding area on fire. Fortunately, the store was already closed and had no customers, and the surrounding premises were promptly vacated. Plus, Prince Hata and his subjects had not been in the car.

Hijikata had no time to be relieved, however, once he found out why.

 _What the hell happened here?_

 _Do not be so angry, Mayora. We were on a date. We were having a nice walk. The idiot was driving carelessly. He was violating traffic laws, yes?_

 _Not really, China. You were walking in the middle of the road, proclaiming that you are the Queen of Kabuki District._

 _Nobody asked you, chihuahua. Their car hit me. I was traumatized, yes? And I lost my pack of sukonbu. Sadist just bought them for me. I was looking forward to eating them. I was angry, so I threw their car. Then I threw the idiot somewhere. The others ran, the cowards._

The idiot had been injured, but alive. Hijikata had, of course, arrested Kagura. He was unsurprised when she did not resist, simply told a responsible officer of the law to his face that she would just have to break out of prison somehow. What surprised him, and what he couldn't comprehend for a while after that, was that Sougo went with her. He alternated between mocking Hijikata and her, but still he went. Hijikata waited for him to slink out of sight, to sneer and tell them he had nothing to do with the crime, or to even attempt to murder him. Nothing. He went with Kagura all the way into her prison cell.

… _Sougo, what are you doing?_

He gave Hijikata a shit-eating grin that should've told him, right there and then, that a dumbass was in love with another dumbass.

 _Continuing our date, Hijikata-san._

Hijikata stared. And stared. Some things about Sougo simply eluded his understanding. He shook his head.

 _Just don't fuck there, alright? Or you'll have to commit seppuku._

Red eyes focusing on the handcuffs, blue eyes widening. An even wider grin.

 _Thanks for the suggestion, Hijikata-san._

That, Hijikata acknowledged, was his own damn fault.

Perhaps he had avoided love for far too long to properly understand it. Or to recognize it when it was destroying public property right in front of him or committing acts of public indecency. Still, for his peace of mind, he denied its existence. If those two seriously got together, got married, _had children…_ An image of a miniature Sougo with a Yato's strength and a sadist's disposition came to mind. The idea gave him nightmares that made him wake up in the middle of the night, gripping his mayonnaise-shaped lighter for comfort.

The only thing that could have possibly prepared him for them getting together was when Kagura barged into the Shinsengumi compound on the day of Mitsuba's death anniversary, heading straight to where Sougo usually slacked off and napped.

Hijikata himself had just finished eating Mitsuba's favorite food in private, as was his personal tradition. It helped place the pain where he could find it.

He was planning to check on Sougo in his usual spot. The brat usually spent the entire day lying down, refusing to move, dealing with his grief in his own way. However, it seemed Kagura had beaten him to it.

The first positive sign was that Sougo was sitting. Beside him, Kagura opened a massive box that smelled like tabasco, but also mixed with something else. She took out a strip of her usual sukonbu…but it was red.

Hijikata couldn't imagine anything that would taste worse than sukonbu covered in tabasco, and for once Sougo clearly agreed. They both watched in horror as Kagura began to stuff her face with the abomination she called food, not stopping even as tears began to leak from her eyes and snot dripped from her nose and her face turned red.

To Hijikata's surprise, Sougo—the goddamn _sadist,_ for fuck's sake—helped himself to the atrocity Kagura was currently dying from. A lot of things Sougo did simply eluded his understanding.

They didn't talk. They didn't look at each other. Or maybe their eyes were so full of tears they couldn't. They didn't even touch each other, but for some reason, Hijikata felt as if he were intruding on something unbearably intimate.

He walked away feeling warmer.

And perhaps, resigned.

* * *

Still, when it came down to it, Sougo never really struck him as the marrying type. Speaking as the target of his numerous murder attempts, Sougo was unhinged, problematic, and just wasn't husband material, period. It could be argued that he cared about Kagura, but would that be enough to sustain a marriage?

Sougo's face was expressionless when he told him this, but he met Hijikata's stare evenly. _It's all wrong if it's not with her._

Hijikata only looked at him. Some things Sougo said, vague as they sounded, could be easily understood.

 _Don't feel lonely, Hijikata-san. I'll still come and kill you when I'm married._

 _You disrespectful brat! Commit seppuku once you're done proposing!_

As he watched Sougo put his jacket on and march out of the Shinsengumi compound, Hijikata realized that he was just the tiniest bit proud of that little shit.

And maybe, just maybe, he understood Okita Sougo a little better now.

* * *

A/N: Ahh. Finally got that out of my system. Trying to keep Sougo in-character is such a pain in the ass, and I'm not sure I really succeeded. And I just realized that I love writing Hijikata. He's easier to write compared to other Gintama characters.


End file.
